Champoo Weds Champi

The poem below was written on 5th May 2007 (way before I was married - 11th De 2008). Champoo - iDream series hold true in making the dreams come true as it offers some striking similarities with the reality.

Champoo weds Champi

----everyone's invited

I saw a lovely damsel on a bright Navratri night,
She was gorgeously clad in green and me in white;
Awestruck by her charm, I set her by my sight,
Dancing together, soon we hopped in the limelight.

Not much after, we were in for a ride together,
The relation grew stronger & bloomed in all weather;
Excelling the ambitions simply added one more feather,
And finally, I gave her an Onion ring & we decided upon being together.

The zeal to be united completely preoccupied my mind,
With little efforts, loving parents were unexpectedly kind;
That’s how Champoo and Champi got an affirmative nod to bind,
As many as 7 distinct functions were one after another, lined.

A Grandiloquent Wedding was pretty much on the card(s),
Picking up a feasible date was a task hardest of hard;
Everything was fixed but D-day was tough to guard,
Shhhhh…Our unison would only take a few more yard(s).

Invitations with cruise tickets were sent to the guest(s),
To be a part of and bestow their presence in our gala fest;
A 3-piece white suite & the accessories made me look the best,
And she adorned the whitest of gown which made my girl stood out of the rest.

A narrow aisle led to the central triangular podium of stone,
Fleet of ships and jovial dolphins around made me lose my tone;
So tempting was the towering fresh orange cake upon a cone,
Above all, symphonies of guitar and accordions mesmerized my melody bone.

There came the diamond studded platinum ring and a moment of bliss,
We birdies were finally set free as we immersed in a kiss;
We took off in a silver copter with red & white balloons, saying cheese,
I took her to our new home, a ranch, which she always wished.

...And that was just the initiation of loads of smile and laughter,
That continued forever as they lived happily ever after;
That’s the way Champoo and Champi wishes to marry,
And he wants each and all of you to be there & make merry.

Note: No cash or gifts! All we require is your augustine presence and generous blessings. Thank you.

Champoo meets Raju!

Note: The blog was written while we, the employees of Satyam Computers looked upon Ramalinga Raju as their role model and highly respected him.

Champoo meets Raju!

If that’s misinterpreted as Champak Chowksi meets Raju Guide (my another wierd travel blog by that name) then that's indeed heights of extreme misinterpretation because one lives in the world of dreams while other brings out the reality. But this time this Raju will definitely cause a stir outclassing Champoo in his own arena. While Champoo wishes to be a self-made entrepreneur like him, he met him in his dreams. Born on 16th September 1954 to a family managing agribusiness, pursued B.Com from Andhra Loyola College, Vijaywada, an MBA from Ohio University with an owner/president course at Harvard, this astute visionary fuelled with ideas foresaw the IT trend and what he set up(with mere 20 employees) thereafter is indeed a success story. Yes, he’s none other then Mr. Ramalinga Raju Byraju, the founder and Chairman of Satyam (named after his father Satyanarayan) Computer Services Ltd. incorporated in 1987.

While Champoo was once asked in one of the competitive exams, during college, about the head of Satyam, pretty ignorant of the corporate battlefield he said C. Rangarajan, the then governor of RBI and aptly he didn’t get through the exam. Exactly a year after, he was somehow closely related to Ramalinga Raju. It was pretty tough to follow this media-shy person but it paid rich dividends not only by the appreciation of Satyam stocks but a personal encounter with him as well-a dreamy affair although. Before this dream, he had an opportunity to witness him grabbing Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year Services award-1999 and Dataquest IT man of the Year-2000.

Few years from now in 2020, it was a Business awards ceremony at Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia where Champoo was to be felicitated for his achievements. To his astonishment, while his name was announced for the Asia Business Leader-2020, he was presented by none other than Asia Business Leader-2002 himself, that’s Raju of the Satyam family. After the awards, while having business lunch together, Champoo had a chance to glide in a conversation on Raju’s journey in building the IT Empire, future ventures and family expedition. Raju shared his experience by gifting him a personal copy of his autobiography signed by him on Champoo’s demand. On being asked about how he feels being the IT giant (with revenues multiplying 20th fold and employee base increasing by half a lac annually) of the globe and richest man ever, he simply said setting up a goal (North Star) made Satyam achieve and distributing and sharing his wealth only multiplied his assets. For him money is simply the by-product of one’s efforts. Besides being far above his peers, he was pretty modest discussing his forays in to FMCG, Infrastructure and Financial ventures and the way he managed to survive the Rupee appreciation in Dollar-dependent business. He implemented in Rupee dealings rather than Dollars for that. Meanwhile, he also encouraged contributing to the society, less privileged people and the soil that brought him up.

If two was a build-up, four is a business. Soon after lunch they were joined by the management of MAYTAS, an infrastructure and property business managed by Teja B. Raju, a Carnegie Melon alumni and youngest entrepreneur to meet Prez Bush, who holds Maytas Infrastructure arm and Rama B. Raju who controls Maytas Properties. They too were here to receive awards in respective categories and the public listing of their company in Malaysia (will be among market toppers in 2020). Soon Champoo proposed for a collaborative effort in few endeavors. While they were about to make tracks (depart), Champoo was enriched by few more facts like ‘Satyam’ and Satyamite were officially coined as a word in English Dictionary which stood for Satyam-Truth and Transformation of a company on its values and Satyamite-for the mighty workforce (like dynamite). “Satyamway” was adopted as a case study by various B-schools and practiced by several organizations. Byraju foundation carved a niche worldwide for its efforts and contribution and others followed its footsteps as well. And lastly the Blogging portal (commercial by then) https://blogs.satyam.com, taking over the biggies in the business, handling millions of quality posts on hourly basis.

Disclaimer: The information conveyed over here is partially based on the facts and partially imagination driven. I’ve taken the facts like education, family background and few other things of Mr. Ramalinga Raju through various sources and the future statements made are solely driven by my thoughts. It may or may not occur the same way as per my dream but in no way its written to hamper the credentials or policies of the organization.

Champoo-Salary hike, dReAM partially shattered

Champoo-Salary hike, dReAM partially shattered

Unexpected for Champoo to be back so soon but definitely not unfair. One of his dreams got shattered and he wished to seek some clarifications and justifications on the revised salary structure on the basis of recent pay-hike his company offered.

Champoo had a childhood friend named Chintoo. They both grew up wearing same nappies, sharing same cereal bowl and shitting in the same pot. They went to same school, eating peanuts on the same desk, setting their eyes on the same girl and even their marksheets read same numbers. Now it was time to join the college. Though both of them got the same grades, Champoo preferred a distant upcoming college situated at an isolated place charging moderate fees while Chintoo who was born with a silver spoon took admission in rather established college with ample of funds and a name in market.

Not only they both opted for same kind of course but both of them excelled equally well in academics and extracurricular activities. Both played fairly active part in organizing as well as taking part in their college's annual festivals may it be cultural or technical. They did their final year's project at same place as well. Champoo got it on merits while Chintoo got it through Jack since Champoo stood out from rest by being a topper while Chintoo too was among the toppers but due to fierce competition with his college mates he missed out the meritorious place by a whisker.
Finally both completed their graduation with equally flying colors. Now it was time for campus placements. Since Chintoo's college was well established and had a reputed name, various companies flourished and queued up for the pickings. Though Chintoo couldn't make it in the initial big companies, he finally ended up making it to one of the big companies. On the other side, very few companies use to approach Champoo's college and while this company was the biggest of all the companies to visit his college and he made it pretty smoothly.

Both were very happy that they'll be together working for a pretty good organization, good market capital, boasting of pretty rich HR policies and equality of all working associates above caste, gender and background. Days passed by and while champoo was pretty much hitting bull's eye and delivering timely commitments and equally efficient efforts, Chintoo too made conscious efforts to take himself and his company to next level.

Finally the Annual appraisal was triggered and while Chintoo was happy to receive a 45% hike, Champoo who strived equally hard during the year was disappointed to receive simply 22% of raise. While he seeked some justification on the matter, he was told that this appraisal system was followed on the basis of the college background one had. Associates from the top 50 colleges deserved higher hike then their respective counterparts irrespective of the efforts they put in and the productivity they generated.

Consequences:
Champoo and many like him are highly disappointed and demotivated. Moreover he blames his luck not to be in a particular college and among the domain of his choice which provided better wages. What if someone’s college wasn’t in top 50 when he joined and is now featuring in the top50 list and what if someone’s college isn’t in top 50 now while it was few years back? And who’s to decide among the 5Rs. /Kg of surveys. Where’s transparency?

Chintoo is pretty much happy and satisfied with his scenario and so he's continuing with the same schedule he followed. But there are few of his college mates who used to be ideal and even they follow the same schedule as of now.

The casualties are in hope that the performance appraisal might bring back the equality uncarved among the associates.

There has been severe storm against the Company's HR policies which one 'dictated' Associates Delight and Equality. Fingers are being raised on high Attrition rate as well which once boasted of

Whom, Where and How to seek clarification for the innocent souls being made a scapegoat.

Champoo goes onsite...

Champoo goes onsite!!!

...As we all know that Champoo is pretty normal software engineer (thats pretty abnormal) engaged with a small firm (And you thought $2b is big!), he hardly does or is allowed to do anything big over there. He has been pretty bulky this days although chewed nails doesn't contribute to fats nor the lame cafeteria food do wonders in providing him extra pounds. His mantra is "Work fascinates him, he can keep staring at it for hours." and one day his extra and consistent efforts paid him rich dividends.

That was the 4th day of the week and his PM had already finished his quota of 1smile per week and so when he called Champoo, he was a bit shaken but he limped his way through the big boss's cabin. He wondered what he did during this week that would have upsetted his PM. But neither he got noticed socializing on Chirkut.com nor he spoke anything humorous that his PM overheard and above all he ddn't pick his nose in the weekly meetings. And it almost proved fatal for him when the PM handed him a letter (the gum he chewed almost stuck up between the jaws as he wondered how will he manage to get coffee 3-times a day). But later on reading he wished to jump with joy which might have prompted him to take back the letter but he managed a wicked smile and took off for celebrations.

It was his onsite project to U.K. approval letter and he'd to pack bags in a day. Promising lots of chocolates and wonderful pics he took off in British Airways. Although far from the office and amidst beautiful hostesses, and holding a glass of smooth whisky, the gentleman(who was wearing a blazer, tie and brown shoes 'without socks') besides him reminded him of having a cup of coffee with his PM in the office. After landing, little did he knew that the photographs he clicked of 'Hummer', was the one which was suppose to take him to his destination.

The Spa's and Jacuzzi in The Ritz hardly impressed him since he hardly takes bath but he was pretty awestruck by getting a glimpse of beauties by the pool gave him the feel of The Flintstones and Adam & Eve era (Few girls getting tanned seemed to be of the genre before that). Next morning the chauffered Lamborgini waited for him at the reception to take him to his office at Canary Wharf area which is full of towering skyscrapers and glassy landscapes. Cladded in his Versace suit and Tag accessories he entered his office premises carrying a Macbook and i-phone. Entire day, all he did was picking up the telephone receiver and checking out various secretaries, trying all sorts of chocs and beverages available in the refrigerator and farting freely in his 10" by 12" isolated cabin. Hmm pretty relaxing!!!

It was time to call it a day and have a glimpse of London. Mohd. Al Fayed's 'Harrods' mall (later seemed a journey from 'birth to death' of needs and luxuries to me) was on the priority list. He entered the gate which provided nappies, baby food and bath accessories, dissected the frozen food, snake skin purses, luxurious perfumes and apparel section and ended up towards a pets section and Diana-Dodi memorial. Mind suggested to grab a Guiness beer and try out on prawns and sushi. Then Champoo stood by 0 degree longitude-centre of the world, on top of london eye, a date with angelina at Madame Tussaud's and getting freezed at -8degrees at Absolute Ice Bar.

Finally after 3 months of such rigorous hardships, it was time to bid farewell to London. Champoo's boss was thoroughly impressed by his work and was willing to talk to his PM to let Champoo take up another project over there. There was champagne and pastries all around and while the 5000 some crowd gathered to celebrate Champoo's success, the higher authorities appalauded and gave him a 'PAT on Back'. He was feeling high, very high, above cloud 9. But with time, the momentum was picking up and he was feeling some vicious force thrusting him. The Pats were getting transformed into Punches.

Champoo's eyes opened as his hand slipped of the chair's support propelling his face downwards. And before he could realize anything, the P.M. standing by his back (giving POBs) handed him a letter and while he thought that day-dreams may be reality, it was a MEMO issued for recklessness and hampering productivity at work.

"The fastest way to make your dreams come true is to Wake-up and as soon as you wake up you need to dream a lot to succeed and so get back to sleep and dream."...lol

In fact, Try to get what u like else u'll be forced to like what u get.

Champoo-i dReAM series

I'm a dreamer but when I wake,
U can't break my spirit-it's my dreams u take,
And as u move on, remember me
Remember us and all we used to be.
-------Champoo's mantra

Folks, Its Curtain Raiser for Champoo-II.... The i-dReAM series wherein champoo will share his dreams and vision with you in a pretty humorous way. Dreams may not be his serious dreams, but he'll tell you the circumstances which pushed him to the journey called DREAMs and the consequences followed thereafter. To kick of with, here's a compilation of what he dreamed and dreams of!!!

Dreams-Never deprive anybody of it,
It might be all they have in their survival kit;
There's ample of hats that Champoo wear,
Here are his dreams in,” i dReAM to be there”.

Dad used to hold my hand & Mom used to embrace,
With pearls in their eyes & shine on their face;
Far from home, I yearn to see them & feel their care,
While talking on phone, i simply dReAM if i was there.

For me cricket was not merely a game,
I wished to conquer my sole aim and get fame;
That was the time; I believed that Blue t-shirt I'll wear,
While India lifted several cups, I dReAMed i was there.

Then there are people, whom I called my friends,
For all the worries in the world, meeting them every trouble ends;
Above terrace, on highways, by riverside-moments we used to share,
Now since we all are apart, I dReAM why I can’t be there.

Amidst the real heroes who fight in the battlefield,
Why can't i protect them by being their shield?
I truly salute the soldiers, for us who dare,
Like them, among them, i dReAM to be there.

On a date with my beloved I wish to dine and wine,
Amidst blue skies, green waters, white sands in a sacred grapevine;
I wish to get engrossed in her eyes & play with her mystical hair,
The moment is not out of reach, since i dReAM to be there.

Flanked by Jolie, Hayek or Kareena will be pretty good,
Meeting Jobs, Sachin or Woods should depend on my mood;
Buffet or Gates should accept me as their lone heir,
Get up! Why? Can't i dReAM to be their.

A palatial ranch and steamy cars is what i desire,
To earn in zillions and speak to billions, i'll put my belly on fire;
To accomplish such without writing a book won't be fare,
All together with everybody-i dReAM i'll be there.

Walking on Water, Chasing Fire and Flying in Air,
Doing it, one day, i dReAM for sure I’ll be there;
And on that day i will loudly scream,
That's what once i DREAMED & still more to dReAM.

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will live as one……

Defeating Death

....Defeating Death
---Champak survives for the new beginning

…….he was right in there making a whirlpool of waves.How to react when you are desperate for air while hardly few years have passed breathing!! Although he couldn't remember the exact time spend deep beneath, those few minutes in 50ft of sheer water would have been a lifetime for him. The feeling was like when excess of cerelac has been occupying your mouth and your mother forces u for one more spoon of pathetic cerelac, when u r desperate to answer Nature's call but u r stuck up on other side of the door, your hands, legs and mouth are tied up and somebody tickling u till tears in eyes. U simply doesn’t know what can be next or what shall be next? Life and Death are pretty far leading u to a world driven by HOPE. All u know is u want to get rid of water filling your lungs and pressurizing your eyes, u long for a terrain beneath your feet, a sky above your head and AIR.

Meanwhile on the other side, approximately 100 meters from the site, there was commotion and havoc all around. His Dad was out of station and Mom pretty far to access. On hearing from eye-witnesses, his foster mother(neighboring aunt ILA), the one who loved champak the most and spend most time with him fainted and fell unconscious. It was a working afternoon for any male fraternity to be at home. Just then, a veterinary doc Mr. Amichand, who regularly leaves well before, was still there busy searching for one of his files. His jeep chauffer(all champoo recalls is he was a Sardar with pink turban) on getting the overview of the situation ran and while Champoo survived till now made a final appearance with just the little finger above the water level and in a moment he was physically back to the world where he belonged. Still he wasn't out of danger since gallons of water filled his lungs, his body turned deep blue and eyes and mouth refuse to open. By sheer presence of mind and courage of his mother, he was taken to a doc, 15kms away from that place and with timely medication, he recovered. With utmost precautions, high pampering and lots of blessings, today, he is 22, fit and fine celebrating his b'de twice every year trying to understand and explore few thoughts and imaginations.

How can anyone remember the EXACT few moments of incidence that happened 19years back and especially when he was a child with partially developed brain. He wonders for the turbanated SARDAR, who never before and never after was seen by anybody (It was his maiden and only appearance...was he GOD HIMself?). All this time-taking incidences actually happened when Champoo struggled in Tank (Does it really indicate that one can survive without air for such a long time). Was it an indication from The Almighty to Champoo to stay back and live for a PURPOSE?
Naah, it was a whisper from HIM-"Die Another Day", I want you to LIVE.
May be HIS Monthly target was up. But for this one, I Always believe in God and Miracles...They do happen.

While Champoo overcame a deadly encouter with Death, it was the beginning of altogether a new LIFE.

Die Another Day-An encounter with DEATH.

CCC-7 Die Another Day-An encounter with DEATH.


Ever felt how it feels being in water top to bottom for few minutes? What if u r in there when u r jus 3 and hardly know anything about Life & Death? Can u imagine all your senses getting suppressed and trying to catch the glimpse of world outside WATER? Do the words like re-incarnation, rebirth, miracles and GOD sound absurd to u? Then let me take you through one of the most spine-chilling, jaw-breaking and nerve-wrecking moment of Champoo's life. In every episode Champak first failed and then succeed, emerging as hero and making u laugh but this time its not champak but the TIME, the real hero, that will leave u shading emotions..
At 3, when most of the children spend their childhood playing monopoly, eating cerelac, swinging in cradle or rather learning to speak new words, Champak's interests were snakes and scorpions. In his earlier years, he stayed in a village where pythons paid frequent visits to the boulevard, cobras was a common sight, scorpions a friendly neighbor and foxes & other nocturnal creatures a pleasure. He used to throw stones at little Komodos and jump across the passing serpents while his mother advised him to be steady on getting a glimpse of such reptiles. Of course Fortune favors the brave but destiny can play its cards as well.

It just had been a month since Champoo's parents celebrated the 3rd birthday of their only child in a grand style. This family of three was pretty happy among the company of die-hard neighbors, weekly gathering at a river canal, seasonally visits at nearby farm to cherish mangoes, corn, watermelons and weekend market trips. On 2nd March, 1988, while watching the bluish orange shades of the sky and picturesque view of the rising sun, little did they knew that within few hours there might be a life-long sunset in their life. Festival of Holi was on the next day and the most nurtured Champoo with his elderly gang of miscreants set their eyes on nearby pool (underground water tank) created for the construction of a 3-storey building. They were splashing water on each other and refilling the buckets and ‘pichkaris’ again and again. In one split of second, while refilling his pichkari, Champoo lost his balance and.......... (For the records Champoo still doesn't know how to swim).
Dearmost readers and well-wishers, considering the length of the write-up and sensitivity of the post, the concluding part will be published in next instance shortly. Meanwhile, pray for our very own Champoo to beat the circumstances and make it up safely.

Hi-5 Champoo learns a lesson

After all those embarassing moments, falling down and getting up, misventures and unknowing mistakes.... you might be wondering how champoo learned, unlearned and relearned the various chapters, Life has to offer. Here it is.....

Hi-5, eeks...Prints on cheeks

No No...Champak hasn't joined any web-based social fraternity neither he's amidst a picture perfect climax of India-Bangladesh match with his friends. And above all he's least concerned in finding out the rhyming words... High-Five. This is rather a melting pot after a few pot-boilers. So readers lemme take you to Champak's journey of learning a lesson, while someone teaches him the REAL ONE.

Champak kicked off his schooling days in style with pouring the clear english soup (on the floor) that was suppose to go in the drain. He sat alone in one of the corners for the whole day crying and longing for home. 2nd day saw a bizarre turnaround. Snatching snacks from the friends beating them and chattering whole day with the fellow-mates. He always use to narrate a single story throughout his Kindergarten..."There was a donkey, who with his friend fox entered the sugar-cane farm.......brayed aloud and got beaten badly", & facing the biggest irony of his earlier years- unable to inscribe the letter that has been most significant in his life, 'R'(in cursive). Complains gallored and punishments-a routine affair till he got ONE from his parents. He learned chapter one of a book called LIFE-Play the GAME, Enjoy the FAME but don't get diverted from the main AIM. Then.....all he got in KG was Banu teacher's KISS on cheeks, Lots of A's in report cards and larger then life friends. Primary schooling gave him Miss Norah's accolades, full 50's in all subjects, escalation from student to monitor and much more. High School was about talent and fame, teen adventures, Mr. Kapadia's pat on back, presidency post, sailing ahead and away.....And den der was Higher Secondary.

Designation changed-FFB (father of first bench) was now LLB(Lord of the Last Bench), Occupation changed from NEWSMAKER to NOISEMAKER, Earlier activities like GK quiz and debates were replaced by bird watching and bench-carving, the earlier respect and achievements rapport between Sir and Champak gave way to jargons like DOBBERMAN (for Mr. Trivedi's continuous barking on Indian History) and PostBox(for Ms. kalpana's gaudy and mismatch attire). Handshakes were replaced by slinging paper-planes and peanuts on the der shiny bald head. Above the desk textbooks were out and beneath the bench magazines and comics were in. Amidst all such things he admired Professor Laad and he simply loved Physics. He believed he was simply born to worship Einsteins and Gauss.

One such fine day, it was Mr. Thakkar aka Tilak Sir's (becoz of sholay fame KAALIA like Tilak on his bouncy and bumpy face with hundreds of crests-pimples and troughs-molar voids per square inch )Maths Lectures on a trot taking place and usually late Champak was jus5minutes late (in the second lecture). He alrdy received the lightening thunderbolts which were unable to deteriorate his high spirits. But this "More face to wash, less hair to comb dude" with hair on his ear-lobes and inside the nose growing with the speed of 5mm/day kept a constant watch on him. Just when Joules and Pascals diverted Champak's attention to Physics book under his desk, very little did he knew dat all his doubts and fundamentals in Physics would be answered today.

Soon his first half of Doppler's Effect got cleared with the an 80-kg object moving towards champak resulting in increasing intensity. Soon he answered Newton's second law F=ma with flash in pan, a big hi-5....on Champaks cheeks clearing definition of Torque and Force drubbing champak's hard earned self-esteem. He decided to revert back with Newtons third law with equal reaction but was helpless. On asking the reason for this phenomena, Mr. Tilak said "Unless and until any external force acts on an object, body in motion remains in motion and body at rest remains at rest" and since he violated the law(was at rest) and lagged in work done per unit time taken, his hand defined mew-coefficient of friction for his cheeks. His embarassing moment in life, the worst ever. His eyes turned dewy and specs foggy and the whole atmosphere gloomy. Silence was chewing him and the after-cause blues haunting him. He never spoke a word deraftr for a long time. All he could say was a SORRY with some hiccups. He learned a lesson taught- "Life is a matter of choice and chance, number of chances you get is directly proportional to choice u make".... And he met Prof. Thakkar with their eyes at same level after so long...bcoz he passed out with flying colors and topped MATHS.

Since total amount of energy in the universe remains constant but can be transferred from one source to another, the energy champoo gained through hi-5, he transformed it to start a positive phase of life and being a self-controlled human being.

Hotma(i)l(e).com-an encounter with 'P'-word.

Recap: After lots of phurrrrr...now i take a serious care dat i check out the trouser's strength before any of dancing ventures or i stick to my basics and be a life-long bathroom dancer!!! ----

Hotma(i)l(e).com-an encounter with 'P'-word.

Champak was in mid teens that time and had started to show the clues and hints of being a teenager. His dictionary showed some wordly transformations. Girl was now a chic, hearts and lungs gave way to glands and hormones, Sportstar was replaced by Cosmopolitan, Paintbrush outscored crayons, Razor grabed the position of proud possession over cricket bat and Sabeer Bhatia was more fascinating to him then knowing about Atal Bihari Vajpayee, the then P.M. of India.

It was an Indian summer of '99 when his interests in computer games was at peak. Aladdin, Prince of Persia, Wolf and Lion King ruled his checklist. He used to break his own high scores everyday and later on every hour. On that very day, he almost broke the highest ever score possible in Prince of Persia and was about to clear the final stage.......and THEN....Power-cut. All enigma and anxiety flew away with the currents. The very next moment, he left in hunt for a cyber cafe (pretty cool joint at that time). It was a dark cabin at the center in the café (at eye-striking view) with a dusty system which had no games installed in it. Pretty dumb. Just when he was thinking wat to do, champak remembrd one of his Phoren retnd cousin, Chatur mentioned something about internet and communicating through it via feemales (dnt laugh, e-mail was tough to grasp). So with some help from the managing guy, he typed his first URL reading it aloud 'H','O','T','M','A','L','E'.com (jus bcoz he correlated email to female, he thought it to be m,a,l,e, bloody hot word did the trick)

.....And there came down the boggling nerves and up goes the punk-like hair. Welcome to the P-world, an exposure to the world of pornography at such a tender age. Imagine a gal sitting in the adjoining cabin, the manager behind his back and hot-males in front of him--pretty embarrassing offence. He wondered what he should do. tried searching dat silly closing ‘X’ sign on the window but ended up getting lots of X signs all over the places, tried hard pressing the RESTART button but the button stuck up and just when monitor switch was a glimpse of hope, he couldn't manage to escape unnoticeable. Red-eyed manager caught him red-handed and threatened him to take him to police (wasn’t matured enough to know the difference between threat and risk) and even worse, he stretched the situation keeping him in line of fire stating to call his parents at home (I always learned by never implemented dat doing bad is not an offence but getting caught while doing it is). This innocent child of Lord (no dats not my parent’s name) got as weak as ever with water drops forcing der way out (from every possible openings in the body). Newtons 3rd law was proving to be false with reactions exceeding the actions. But as always u knw Mr. Champak!!! Though he lagged in cyber-info, though he lagged in maturity and brave-heart, he had an amazing knack of establishing PR and that saved him. THE GREAT ESCAPE-and Champak never turned and looked back.

That was then.....And this is now!!!

If u thought that growing up is a boon, jus imagine getting involved in sch nightmarish Xperience at this age? As an MBA aspirant, once Champak was Xploring some valuable information in his college lab (amidst the faculties and other bunch of batch mates) about IIM-Ahmedabad, later only to realize that if only...iima.com would hav bn replaced by iimahd.erg.net in nick of time. You want me to narrate the after-shock or want to stress up ur creative genes imagining the rest.

Statutory Warning: Ignorance of an URL may be injurious to reputation and respect, kindly use Google in all aspects. According to research, Pornography damages ur nerves and alters ur thinking so strictly stay away from it.

Images sourced from www.cliffordbeers.org, http://www.istockphoto.com/, http://www.photoone.co.nz/

phurrrrrrrrrr.......der it goes!!! Champak Steps in to dancing shoes.

Recap: After Mr. Champak's cooking adventure resulting into disastrous misventure, finally he's able to cook world famous daal, mouth watering bhindi, yummy cheese garlic toasties, amazing enchilladas and ofcourse our national drink butter milk....Refer previous posts to be right there with Mr. Champak Chowksi.

phurrrrrrrrrr.......der it goes!!! Champak Steps in to dancing shoes.

Long time back there was a macho stud who studied in a palatial college amidst the nature. He used to go to college in a chauffered Chevrolet with his dudes. Stylish as he was in his Diesels and fcuk's, sharp he was in his maths and electronics. As mentioned in previous part that hardly there were things he can't do (coding as of course), he was novice to dancing then. He always thought to win over all damsel dudets, playing guitar and dancing are must. Guitar he already knew but he always preferred Dancing (in pairs). Till now u might have guessed it dat it can't b other den champoo(his college caption).

Now champoo was on a hunt for few of the things namely an opportunity to dance, a platform to perform and a tutor to teach him steps. He got all the three when one of his friends champi offered him a chance (going by his looks) to perform on "Jise dhundhta hoon main.." in annual culfess of the college. Quite confident with his capabilities of exercising, he soon discovered the demarcation between muscles and curves. They started practicing on a high note and with lots of aspirations and buckets of perspiration, champoo managed to get the steps right (wait wait wait...jus the steps, who'll spare a thought for expressions, sync and rythm). But highly optimistic champoo pumped in more and more efforts and on one fine day when the music struck "woh ladki hai kahan", champoo came dashing down with vigour and der came a b/g sound phurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr(repeat 'r' till 10 secs) and.........

.......there it goes!!! The brand new jeans and all the confidence, sync and esteem accompanying it. But before anybody could realize it God bless the companies for not manufacturing cam cell phones at that time), he managed to escape from the backdoor convincing fellow mates that he hurt himself. All he needed to find was an isolated place, another trouser of his waist size and a perfect reason that could save him for dis wardrobe malfunctioning embarrassment.

Finally....the star was back where it belonged in his own style. He did create an atmosphere of commotion with his lame walk but made everyone feel like he's strong and sacrificial. Just when he thought he survived a bizarre embarrassment, a shrill voice broke the silence with "Champak, is that ur zip open?" and the hall broke in laughter leaving poor champoo amidst the nightmarish run that followed him....He didn’t know wat to do. Gaining all the confidence, he was jus able to say, “It’s a new trend”. But leaving the past behind, everything went perfect in the D-day performance and guess wat. Our champoo won the trophy as well……(awestruck)….hmm not for the dancing number but enacting a human robot in the same performance. Now dats what I call blessing in disguise.

That was then, and this is now!!!

Occasions may come and pass by, his dancing legacy continued and so did the phurrrrrrrrr thing (5 of his trousers has sacrificed their lives of champoo's sake). The closest he came by to this incidence was while playing cricket with all the relatives, he dived fiercely to pocket a catch n phurrrrrrrrrrrrr (with the same thrill and intensity with which hanuman in ramayana sliced his chest)......der it goes!!!

Dear Readers, that was Mr. champak and his ventures. I'm sure even you mite have gone through such experiences. Do post me ur f/b and incidences in comments section. So till Champak plans to decide something else.....take a break.

Images-Courtesy: www.stdt.org, www.jupiterimages.com, www.istockphoto.com

Champak learns to cook...

Explore more about Mr. Champak chowksi alias Champoo from champaner and his ventures in previous blogs....

Champak learns to cook.....and everybody else shook.

...As such Mr. Chowksi is a self-proclaimed Jack of all trades. He's into finance arena, luvs variety of sports, entrepreneurial instinctz, he has developed wierd and varied hobbies, vivacious and creative being trademark adjectives that can be used for him. Infact he plans to write the shortest books ever written on a particular subject-"Things I can't do". So the latest venture into champoo's kit is Cooking.

So this son of a versatile mother, who prefers his "maa ka khana" to any of the restaurants in the world decided to justify the penetration of his genes and blood in veins as he started to kick of his cooking venture by boiling milk. On a very fine sunny sunday, he woke up early and took a stainless steel (full of stains) vessel and displayed some of his creative talented tricks while liting the burner. As confident he was of his minuscle venture, he was cocksure that he'll complete reading newspaper before milk boils up. Meanwhile, he got engaged with his roommates discussing about nagging the one who left his footprint on the polished floor, who should replace the maid servant whose no longer ready to clean the mess, solutions to serious hairfall this s/w industry has offered and the pathetic food offered in his office cafeteria.

.....20 minutes later! One of his friends
Chaman: Oh wow i can smell a wonderful paratha....
Chandu: ummmm....my stomach's feeling it.m so hungry.
Chirkut: Is it aloo aur gobi...watever it is, hw it must be if the aroma is so mouth watering and tongue licking.

....After 30minutes the view changes!!

Chaman: I gues dat SOB is overcooking the paratha...somebody stop him.
Chandu: gurrrrrrrr.my nose is sensing the burning odour.
Chirkut: Y d hell is he not taking it (future tense of aloo or gobi paratha) off the pan.
All the 3: suspicious look towards Champak....is der anything dats burning in our kitchen... !#^!$&#%&$(edited part).


Champak took off showing one of his blitzkrieg running talent full of wild gestures only to realise few minutes later that all milk can't b white....dey too get tanned. Kitchen had fumes all over the places amidst milk(which it WAS) fountains with the irresistible mind blowing(that can literally blow up the mind) aroma and a dead body of that vessel which sufferred severe strokes of racial discrimination and Maa Kasamm not a single bright spot was visible.


2days after--chandu boiles the milk for everybody, chirkut shifted his room which was earlier adjoining to kitchen and chaman supervising champak whose making unsuccessful invaluable attempts cleaning the vessel. But no storm or fire can deteriorate Herculean Mr. Chowksi. Today he is an authentically GOOD cook who sometimes adds extra asafoetida touch to daal, experiments over his friends with overcooked bhindi, tries out how raw potatoes amidst cooked cabbage tastes like and researching on whether double salt in buttermilk has something to do with blodd pressure.


That's how Champak learns to cook(sounds like Michael learns to rock). So readers when do u vish to b among the privileged invitees at Mr. Chowksi's home on a weekend dinner and cherish the delicacies prepared by the connoisseur himself.

Mr. Chowksi boards a bus!!!

Refer "Know Mr. Chowksi" for a quick recap!!!!

Mr . Chowksi boards a bus....

......As his employer firm has just managed to cross a billion dollar benchmark, they don't provide him a chauffered driven cab or a bus so he thrives hard to manage a lift from a biker who can drop him till the BMTC(Badboo marein, tel chipke) bus-stop. Somehow he manages his way into the bus amidst all bulls and rhinos who stares at him with walnut like eyeballs, and saw-like hands. Getting a seat to sit-forget it....Those who are sitting are hired to endorse FEVICOL brand, they won't get up until you get down. Sources reveal that such people get on from stop 1 and get down at last stop when they feel their daily pass has enriched them with rich dividends.

The worst enemy of people like Mr. Chowksi is the owner of the bus-Mr. conductor who thumps heavily on ur back and forces you to take tickets even if you alrdy have one. He'll also choke you wid some slangs in regional language bt the commotion is easily noticeable through his gestures. The real nightmare starts after he has boarded the bus the more lot push in. His hair gets twisted like a brush used for cleaning toilet, his shirt wrinkled like a 95yr grandpa's face and shoes as if he's working in a concrete factory. His nose somehow gets well-placed toward the adjoining individual's underarm(while he's holding the iron rod) and coincidently its the underarm of the guy, who doesn't know smething like deoderant exists. While you try to breathe in patches while revolving your face, it gathers the finest varieties sticky coconut oil in one 180 degree motion. The last thing you wanted on such a trip is someone picking a nose and pricking out the shortest of hair and proudly publicizing it. Soon you are to ur destination and u push ur way in altogether different world of sigh, relief, air and life.hhuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh poor Mr. Chowksi, for him the day is ended before it kicks off.

So whenever Mr. Chowksi gets a window seat or a seat for instance, he jumps with joy and messages to every known person in the colony to let them know his achievement only to regret later that an old man or physically challenged individual is standing tough jus besides you without any complaints.....

So readers, dat was one of Mr. Champak's chronicles.....Wait and watch out for the next one and find out what's next on the plate to be served.

Any acquaintance with such incidences???

Pics: Courtesy: www.photos.net, www.tu-chemnitz.de

Know Mr. Chowksi

C-cube....Curtain Raiser

So here's a tale of a complicated common chap who dreams of a 100-acre ranch and still lives in a rented place for future investments, who aims in possessing a Bugatti Veyron or a Maybach but prefers to travel in public transport or rather walk to gather penny for it, who wants to setup a largest private sector company in the world but works (although he hardly works) for a small-scale firm, who wishes to be in the company of Warren Buffet, Steve Jobs, Dr. Vijay Mallya but loves talking to his security guard, maid servent, barber or a cafe guy for instance, who desires to earn a million $ a day but will squabble with autorickshaw driver for 2bucks, who aspires to take his girlfriend to Venice but he himself is yet to visit Vasna barrage road.......Pretty wierd!!! Yeah that's the guy Mr. Champak Chowksi alias champoo from Champaner. Name as complicated as he is!!!

Now Mr. Champak works as a s/w engineer for a small firm at a happening area of a cosmopolitan city. He is basically employed for 3 things namely code-writing, code-evaluating, and code-debugging and he follows all the three things, minus code, firmly. On reaching home he's required to perform 3 "ing"s namely cooking, washing and reading but he's rather taking only quoted letters pretty seriously and he does eat-ing, shit-ing and sleep-ing. If this was more than enough of Mr. Chowksi, lets peep into his daily affairs.

wait wait wait....for my next post as i need to increase my HCP ratings. Wonder what's HCP, it's hits, comments and points.