Monday, May 5, 2008

Champoo Weds Champi

The poem below was written on 5th May 2007 (way before I was married - 11th De 2008). Champoo - iDream series hold true in making the dreams come true as it offers some striking similarities with the reality.
Champoo weds Champi
----everyone's invited
I saw a lovely damsel on a bright Navratri night,
She was gorgeously clad in green and me in white;
Awestruck by her charm, I set her by my sight,
Dancing together, soon we hopped in the limelight.

Not much after, we were in for a ride together,
The relation grew stronger & bloomed in all weather;
Excelling the ambitions simply added one more feather,
And finally, I gave her an Onion ring & we decided upon being together.

The zeal to be united completely preoccupied my mind,
With little efforts, loving parents were unexpectedly kind;
That’s how Champoo and Champi got an affirmative nod to bind,
As many as 7 distinct functions were one after another, lined.

A Grandiloquent Wedding was pretty much on the card(s),
Picking up a feasible date was a task hardest of hard;
Everything was fixed but D-day was tough to guard,
Shhhhh…Our unison would only take a few more yard(s).

Invitations with cruise tickets were sent to the guest(s),
To be a part of and bestow their presence in our gala fest;
A 3-piece white suite & the accessories made me look the best,
And she adorned the whitest of gown which made my girl stood out of the rest.

A narrow aisle led to the central triangular podium of stone,
Fleet of ships and jovial dolphins around made me lose my tone;
So tempting was the towering fresh orange cake upon a cone,
Above all, symphonies of guitar and accordions mesmerized my melody bone.

There came the diamond studded platinum ring and a moment of bliss,
We birdies were finally set free as we immersed in a kiss;
We took off in a silver copter with red & white balloons, saying cheese,
I took her to our new home, a ranch, which she always wished.

...And that was just the initiation of loads of smile and laughter,
That continued forever as they lived happily ever after;
That’s the way Champoo and Champi wishes to marry,
And he wants each and all of you to be there & make merry.

Note: No cash or gifts! All we require is your augustine presence and generous blessings. Thank you.

Champoo meets Raju!

Note: The blog was written while we, the employees of Satyam Computers looked upon Ramalinga Raju as their role model and highly respected him.
Champoo meets Raju!

If that’s misinterpreted as Champak Chowksi meets Raju Guide (my another wierd travel blog by that name) then that's indeed heights of extreme misinterpretation because one lives in the world of dreams while other brings out the reality. But this time this Raju will definitely cause a stir outclassing Champoo in his own arena. While Champoo wishes to be a self-made entrepreneur like him, he met him in his dreams. Born on 16th September 1954 to a family managing agribusiness, pursued B.Com from Andhra Loyola College, Vijaywada, an MBA from Ohio University with an owner/president course at Harvard, this astute visionary fuelled with ideas foresaw the IT trend and what he set up(with mere 20 employees) thereafter is indeed a success story. Yes, he’s none other then Mr. Ramalinga Raju Byraju, the founder and Chairman of Satyam (named after his father Satyanarayan) Computer Services Ltd. incorporated in 1987.

While Champoo was once asked in one of the competitive exams, during college, about the head of Satyam, pretty ignorant of the corporate battlefield he said C. Rangarajan, the then governor of RBI and aptly he didn’t get through the exam. Exactly a year after, he was somehow closely related to Ramalinga Raju. It was pretty tough to follow this media-shy person but it paid rich dividends not only by the appreciation of Satyam stocks but a personal encounter with him as well-a dreamy affair although. Before this dream, he had an opportunity to witness him grabbing Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year Services award-1999 and Dataquest IT man of the Year-2000.

Few years from now in 2020, it was a Business awards ceremony at Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia where Champoo was to be felicitated for his achievements. To his astonishment, while his name was announced for the Asia Business Leader-2020, he was presented by none other than Asia Business Leader-2002 himself, that’s Raju of the Satyam family. After the awards, while having business lunch together, Champoo had a chance to glide in a conversation on Raju’s journey in building the IT Empire, future ventures and family expedition. Raju shared his experience by gifting him a personal copy of his autobiography signed by him on Champoo’s demand. On being asked about how he feels being the IT giant (with revenues multiplying 20th fold and employee base increasing by half a lac annually) of the globe and richest man ever, he simply said setting up a goal (North Star) made Satyam achieve and distributing and sharing his wealth only multiplied his assets. For him money is simply the by-product of one’s efforts. Besides being far above his peers, he was pretty modest discussing his forays in to FMCG, Infrastructure and Financial ventures and the way he managed to survive the Rupee appreciation in Dollar-dependent business. He implemented in Rupee dealings rather than Dollars for that. Meanwhile, he also encouraged contributing to the society, less privileged people and the soil that brought him up.

If two was a build-up, four is a business. Soon after lunch they were joined by the management of MAYTAS, an infrastructure and property business managed by Teja B. Raju, a Carnegie Melon alumni and youngest entrepreneur to meet Prez Bush, who holds Maytas Infrastructure arm and Rama B. Raju who controls Maytas Properties. They too were here to receive awards in respective categories and the public listing of their company in Malaysia (will be among market toppers in 2020). Soon Champoo proposed for a collaborative effort in few endeavors. While they were about to make tracks (depart), Champoo was enriched by few more facts like ‘Satyam’ and Satyamite were officially coined as a word in English Dictionary which stood for Satyam-Truth and Transformation of a company on its values and Satyamite-for the mighty workforce (like dynamite). “Satyamway” was adopted as a case study by various B-schools and practiced by several organizations. Byraju foundation carved a niche worldwide for its efforts and contribution and others followed its footsteps as well. And lastly the Blogging portal (commercial by then), taking over the biggies in the business, handling millions of quality posts on hourly basis.

Disclaimer: The information conveyed over here is partially based on the facts and partially imagination driven. I’ve taken the facts like education, family background and few other things of Mr. Ramalinga Raju through various sources and the future statements made are solely driven by my thoughts. It may or may not occur the same way as per my dream but in no way its written to hamper the credentials or policies of the organization.

Champoo-Salary hike, dReAM partially shattered

Champoo-Salary hike, dReAM partially shattered

Unexpected for Champoo to be back so soon but definitely not unfair. One of his dreams got shattered and he wished to seek some clarifications and justifications on the revised salary structure on the basis of recent pay-hike his company offered.

Champoo had a childhood friend named Chintoo. They both grew up wearing same nappies, sharing same cereal bowl and shitting in the same pot. They went to same school, eating peanuts on the same desk, setting their eyes on the same girl and even their marksheets read same numbers. Now it was time to join the college. Though both of them got the same grades, Champoo preferred a distant upcoming college situated at an isolated place charging moderate fees while Chintoo who was born with a silver spoon took admission in rather established college with ample of funds and a name in market.

Not only they both opted for same kind of course but both of them excelled equally well in academics and extracurricular activities. Both played fairly active part in organizing as well as taking part in their college's annual festivals may it be cultural or technical. They did their final year's project at same place as well. Champoo got it on merits while Chintoo got it through Jack since Champoo stood out from rest by being a topper while Chintoo too was among the toppers but due to fierce competition with his college mates he missed out the meritorious place by a whisker.
Finally both completed their graduation with equally flying colors. Now it was time for campus placements. Since Chintoo's college was well established and had a reputed name, various companies flourished and queued up for the pickings. Though Chintoo couldn't make it in the initial big companies, he finally ended up making it to one of the big companies. On the other side, very few companies use to approach Champoo's college and while this company was the biggest of all the companies to visit his college and he made it pretty smoothly.

Both were very happy that they'll be together working for a pretty good organization, good market capital, boasting of pretty rich HR policies and equality of all working associates above caste, gender and background. Days passed by and while champoo was pretty much hitting bull's eye and delivering timely commitments and equally efficient efforts, Chintoo too made conscious efforts to take himself and his company to next level.

Finally the Annual appraisal was triggered and while Chintoo was happy to receive a 45% hike, Champoo who strived equally hard during the year was disappointed to receive simply 22% of raise. While he seeked some justification on the matter, he was told that this appraisal system was followed on the basis of the college background one had. Associates from the top 50 colleges deserved higher hike then their respective counterparts irrespective of the efforts they put in and the productivity they generated.

Champoo and many like him are highly disappointed and demotivated. Moreover he blames his luck not to be in a particular college and among the domain of his choice which provided better wages. What if someone’s college wasn’t in top 50 when he joined and is now featuring in the top50 list and what if someone’s college isn’t in top 50 now while it was few years back? And who’s to decide among the 5Rs. /Kg of surveys. Where’s transparency?

Chintoo is pretty much happy and satisfied with his scenario and so he's continuing with the same schedule he followed. But there are few of his college mates who used to be ideal and even they follow the same schedule as of now.

The casualties are in hope that the performance appraisal might bring back the equality uncarved among the associates.

There has been severe storm against the Company's HR policies which one 'dictated' Associates Delight and Equality. Fingers are being raised on high Attrition rate as well which once boasted of

Whom, Where and How to seek clarification for the innocent souls being made a scapegoat.

Champoo goes onsite...

Champoo goes onsite!!!

...As we all know that Champoo is pretty normal software engineer (thats pretty abnormal) engaged with a small firm (And you thought $2b is big!), he hardly does or is allowed to do anything big over there. He has been pretty bulky this days although chewed nails doesn't contribute to fats nor the lame cafeteria food do wonders in providing him extra pounds. His mantra is "Work fascinates him, he can keep staring at it for hours." and one day his extra and consistent efforts paid him rich dividends.

That was the 4th day of the week and his PM had already finished his quota of 1smile per week and so when he called Champoo, he was a bit shaken but he limped his way through the big boss's cabin. He wondered what he did during this week that would have upsetted his PM. But neither he got noticed socializing on nor he spoke anything humorous that his PM overheard and above all he ddn't pick his nose in the weekly meetings. And it almost proved fatal for him when the PM handed him a letter (the gum he chewed almost stuck up between the jaws as he wondered how will he manage to get coffee 3-times a day). But later on reading he wished to jump with joy which might have prompted him to take back the letter but he managed a wicked smile and took off for celebrations.

It was his onsite project to U.K. approval letter and he'd to pack bags in a day. Promising lots of chocolates and wonderful pics he took off in British Airways. Although far from the office and amidst beautiful hostesses, and holding a glass of smooth whisky, the gentleman(who was wearing a blazer, tie and brown shoes 'without socks') besides him reminded him of having a cup of coffee with his PM in the office. After landing, little did he knew that the photographs he clicked of 'Hummer', was the one which was suppose to take him to his destination.

The Spa's and Jacuzzi in The Ritz hardly impressed him since he hardly takes bath but he was pretty awestruck by getting a glimpse of beauties by the pool gave him the feel of The Flintstones and Adam & Eve era (Few girls getting tanned seemed to be of the genre before that). Next morning the chauffered Lamborgini waited for him at the reception to take him to his office at Canary Wharf area which is full of towering skyscrapers and glassy landscapes. Cladded in his Versace suit and Tag accessories he entered his office premises carrying a Macbook and i-phone. Entire day, all he did was picking up the telephone receiver and checking out various secretaries, trying all sorts of chocs and beverages available in the refrigerator and farting freely in his 10" by 12" isolated cabin. Hmm pretty relaxing!!!

It was time to call it a day and have a glimpse of London. Mohd. Al Fayed's 'Harrods' mall (later seemed a journey from 'birth to death' of needs and luxuries to me) was on the priority list. He entered the gate which provided nappies, baby food and bath accessories, dissected the frozen food, snake skin purses, luxurious perfumes and apparel section and ended up towards a pets section and Diana-Dodi memorial. Mind suggested to grab a Guiness beer and try out on prawns and sushi. Then Champoo stood by 0 degree longitude-centre of the world, on top of london eye, a date with angelina at Madame Tussaud's and getting freezed at -8degrees at Absolute Ice Bar.

Finally after 3 months of such rigorous hardships, it was time to bid farewell to London. Champoo's boss was thoroughly impressed by his work and was willing to talk to his PM to let Champoo take up another project over there. There was champagne and pastries all around and while the 5000 some crowd gathered to celebrate Champoo's success, the higher authorities appalauded and gave him a 'PAT on Back'. He was feeling high, very high, above cloud 9. But with time, the momentum was picking up and he was feeling some vicious force thrusting him. The Pats were getting transformed into Punches.

Champoo's eyes opened as his hand slipped of the chair's support propelling his face downwards. And before he could realize anything, the P.M. standing by his back (giving POBs) handed him a letter and while he thought that day-dreams may be reality, it was a MEMO issued for recklessness and hampering productivity at work.

"The fastest way to make your dreams come true is to Wake-up and as soon as you wake up you need to dream a lot to succeed and so get back to sleep and dream."

In fact, Try to get what u like else u'll be forced to like what u get.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Champoo-i dReAM series

I'm a dreamer but when I wake,
U can't break my spirit-it's my dreams u take,
And as u move on, remember me
Remember us and all we used to be.
-------Champoo's mantra

Folks, Its Curtain Raiser for Champoo-II.... The i-dReAM series wherein champoo will share his dreams and vision with you in a pretty humorous way. Dreams may not be his serious dreams, but he'll tell you the circumstances which pushed him to the journey called DREAMs and the consequences followed thereafter. To kick of with, here's a compilation of what he dreamed and dreams of!!!

Dreams-Never deprive anybody of it,
It might be all they have in their survival kit;
There's ample of hats that Champoo wear,
Here are his dreams in,” i dReAM to be there”.

Dad used to hold my hand & Mom used to embrace,
With pearls in their eyes & shine on their face;
Far from home, I yearn to see them & feel their care,
While talking on phone, i simply dReAM if i was there.

For me cricket was not merely a game,
I wished to conquer my sole aim and get fame;
That was the time; I believed that Blue t-shirt I'll wear,
While India lifted several cups, I dReAMed i was there.

Then there are people, whom I called my friends,
For all the worries in the world, meeting them every trouble ends;
Above terrace, on highways, by riverside-moments we used to share,
Now since we all are apart, I dReAM why I can’t be there.

Amidst the real heroes who fight in the battlefield,
Why can't i protect them by being their shield?
I truly salute the soldiers, for us who dare,
Like them, among them, i dReAM to be there.

On a date with my beloved I wish to dine and wine,
Amidst blue skies, green waters, white sands in a sacred grapevine;
I wish to get engrossed in her eyes & play with her mystical hair,
The moment is not out of reach, since i dReAM to be there.

Flanked by Jolie, Hayek or Kareena will be pretty good,
Meeting Jobs, Sachin or Woods should depend on my mood;
Buffet or Gates should accept me as their lone heir,
Get up! Why? Can't i dReAM to be their.

A palatial ranch and steamy cars is what i desire,
To earn in zillions and speak to billions, i'll put my belly on fire;
To accomplish such without writing a book won't be fare,
All together with everybody-i dReAM i'll be there.

Walking on Water, Chasing Fire and Flying in Air,
Doing it, one day, i dReAM for sure I’ll be there;
And on that day i will loudly scream,
That's what once i DREAMED & still more to dReAM.

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will live as one……

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Defeating Death

....Defeating Death
---Champak survives for the new beginning

…….he was right in there making a whirlpool of waves.How to react when you are desperate for air while hardly few years have passed breathing!! Although he couldn't remember the exact time spend deep beneath, those few minutes in 50ft of sheer water would have been a lifetime for him. The feeling was like when excess of cerelac has been occupying your mouth and your mother forces u for one more spoon of pathetic cerelac, when u r desperate to answer Nature's call but u r stuck up on other side of the door, your hands, legs and mouth are tied up and somebody tickling u till tears in eyes. U simply doesn’t know what can be next or what shall be next? Life and Death are pretty far leading u to a world driven by HOPE. All u know is u want to get rid of water filling your lungs and pressurizing your eyes, u long for a terrain beneath your feet, a sky above your head and AIR.

Meanwhile on the other side, approximately 100 meters from the site, there was commotion and havoc all around. His Dad was out of station and Mom pretty far to access. On hearing from eye-witnesses, his foster mother(neighboring aunt ILA), the one who loved champak the most and spend most time with him fainted and fell unconscious. It was a working afternoon for any male fraternity to be at home. Just then, a veterinary doc Mr. Amichand, who regularly leaves well before, was still there busy searching for one of his files. His jeep chauffer(all champoo recalls is he was a Sardar with pink turban) on getting the overview of the situation ran and while Champoo survived till now made a final appearance with just the little finger above the water level and in a moment he was physically back to the world where he belonged. Still he wasn't out of danger since gallons of water filled his lungs, his body turned deep blue and eyes and mouth refuse to open. By sheer presence of mind and courage of his mother, he was taken to a doc, 15kms away from that place and with timely medication, he recovered. With utmost precautions, high pampering and lots of blessings, today, he is 22, fit and fine celebrating his b'de twice every year trying to understand and explore few thoughts and imaginations.

How can anyone remember the EXACT few moments of incidence that happened 19years back and especially when he was a child with partially developed brain. He wonders for the turbanated SARDAR, who never before and never after was seen by anybody (It was his maiden and only appearance...was he GOD HIMself?). All this time-taking incidences actually happened when Champoo struggled in Tank (Does it really indicate that one can survive without air for such a long time). Was it an indication from The Almighty to Champoo to stay back and live for a PURPOSE?
Naah, it was a whisper from HIM-"Die Another Day", I want you to LIVE.
May be HIS Monthly target was up. But for this one, I Always believe in God and Miracles...They do happen.

While Champoo overcame a deadly encouter with Death, it was the beginning of altogether a new LIFE.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Die Another Day-An encounter with DEATH.

CCC-7 Die Another Day-An encounter with DEATH.

Ever felt how it feels being in water top to bottom for few minutes? What if u r in there when u r jus 3 and hardly know anything about Life & Death? Can u imagine all your senses getting suppressed and trying to catch the glimpse of world outside WATER? Do the words like re-incarnation, rebirth, miracles and GOD sound absurd to u? Then let me take you through one of the most spine-chilling, jaw-breaking and nerve-wrecking moment of Champoo's life. In every episode Champak first failed and then succeed, emerging as hero and making u laugh but this time its not champak but the TIME, the real hero, that will leave u shading emotions..
At 3, when most of the children spend their childhood playing monopoly, eating cerelac, swinging in cradle or rather learning to speak new words, Champak's interests were snakes and scorpions. In his earlier years, he stayed in a village where pythons paid frequent visits to the boulevard, cobras was a common sight, scorpions a friendly neighbor and foxes & other nocturnal creatures a pleasure. He used to throw stones at little Komodos and jump across the passing serpents while his mother advised him to be steady on getting a glimpse of such reptiles. Of course Fortune favors the brave but destiny can play its cards as well.

It just had been a month since Champoo's parents celebrated the 3rd birthday of their only child in a grand style. This family of three was pretty happy among the company of die-hard neighbors, weekly gathering at a river canal, seasonally visits at nearby farm to cherish mangoes, corn, watermelons and weekend market trips. On 2nd March, 1988, while watching the bluish orange shades of the sky and picturesque view of the rising sun, little did they knew that within few hours there might be a life-long sunset in their life. Festival of Holi was on the next day and the most nurtured Champoo with his elderly gang of miscreants set their eyes on nearby pool (underground water tank) created for the construction of a 3-storey building. They were splashing water on each other and refilling the buckets and ‘pichkaris’ again and again. In one split of second, while refilling his pichkari, Champoo lost his balance and.......... (For the records Champoo still doesn't know how to swim).
Dearmost readers and well-wishers, considering the length of the write-up and sensitivity of the post, the concluding part will be published in next instance shortly. Meanwhile, pray for our very own Champoo to beat the circumstances and make it up safely.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Hi-5 Champoo learns a lesson

After all those embarassing moments, falling down and getting up, misventures and unknowing mistakes.... you might be wondering how champoo learned, unlearned and relearned the various chapters, Life has to offer. Here it is.....

Hi-5, eeks...Prints on cheeks

No No...Champak hasn't joined any web-based social fraternity neither he's amidst a picture perfect climax of India-Bangladesh match with his friends. And above all he's least concerned in finding out the rhyming words... High-Five. This is rather a melting pot after a few pot-boilers. So readers lemme take you to Champak's journey of learning a lesson, while someone teaches him the REAL ONE.

Champak kicked off his schooling days in style with pouring the clear english soup (on the floor) that was suppose to go in the drain. He sat alone in one of the corners for the whole day crying and longing for home. 2nd day saw a bizarre turnaround. Snatching snacks from the friends beating them and chattering whole day with the fellow-mates. He always use to narrate a single story throughout his Kindergarten..."There was a donkey, who with his friend fox entered the sugar-cane farm.......brayed aloud and got beaten badly", & facing the biggest irony of his earlier years- unable to inscribe the letter that has been most significant in his life, 'R'(in cursive). Complains gallored and punishments-a routine affair till he got ONE from his parents. He learned chapter one of a book called LIFE-Play the GAME, Enjoy the FAME but don't get diverted from the main AIM. Then.....all he got in KG was Banu teacher's KISS on cheeks, Lots of A's in report cards and larger then life friends. Primary schooling gave him Miss Norah's accolades, full 50's in all subjects, escalation from student to monitor and much more. High School was about talent and fame, teen adventures, Mr. Kapadia's pat on back, presidency post, sailing ahead and away.....And den der was Higher Secondary.

Designation changed-FFB (father of first bench) was now LLB(Lord of the Last Bench), Occupation changed from NEWSMAKER to NOISEMAKER, Earlier activities like GK quiz and debates were replaced by bird watching and bench-carving, the earlier respect and achievements rapport between Sir and Champak gave way to jargons like DOBBERMAN (for Mr. Trivedi's continuous barking on Indian History) and PostBox(for Ms. kalpana's gaudy and mismatch attire). Handshakes were replaced by slinging paper-planes and peanuts on the der shiny bald head. Above the desk textbooks were out and beneath the bench magazines and comics were in. Amidst all such things he admired Professor Laad and he simply loved Physics. He believed he was simply born to worship Einsteins and Gauss.

One such fine day, it was Mr. Thakkar aka Tilak Sir's (becoz of sholay fame KAALIA like Tilak on his bouncy and bumpy face with hundreds of crests-pimples and troughs-molar voids per square inch )Maths Lectures on a trot taking place and usually late Champak was jus5minutes late (in the second lecture). He alrdy received the lightening thunderbolts which were unable to deteriorate his high spirits. But this "More face to wash, less hair to comb dude" with hair on his ear-lobes and inside the nose growing with the speed of 5mm/day kept a constant watch on him. Just when Joules and Pascals diverted Champak's attention to Physics book under his desk, very little did he knew dat all his doubts and fundamentals in Physics would be answered today.

Soon his first half of Doppler's Effect got cleared with the an 80-kg object moving towards champak resulting in increasing intensity. Soon he answered Newton's second law F=ma with flash in pan, a big hi-5....on Champaks cheeks clearing definition of Torque and Force drubbing champak's hard earned self-esteem. He decided to revert back with Newtons third law with equal reaction but was helpless. On asking the reason for this phenomena, Mr. Tilak said "Unless and until any external force acts on an object, body in motion remains in motion and body at rest remains at rest" and since he violated the law(was at rest) and lagged in work done per unit time taken, his hand defined mew-coefficient of friction for his cheeks. His embarassing moment in life, the worst ever. His eyes turned dewy and specs foggy and the whole atmosphere gloomy. Silence was chewing him and the after-cause blues haunting him. He never spoke a word deraftr for a long time. All he could say was a SORRY with some hiccups. He learned a lesson taught- "Life is a matter of choice and chance, number of chances you get is directly proportional to choice u make".... And he met Prof. Thakkar with their eyes at same level after so long...bcoz he passed out with flying colors and topped MATHS.

Since total amount of energy in the universe remains constant but can be transferred from one source to another, the energy champoo gained through hi-5, he transformed it to start a positive phase of life and being a self-controlled human being.